His Gift

 I trudge into the room. It’s the center of my heart, the place I come to meet Him. Today He’s sitting there, in one of the comfy chairs we placed there when we crafted this room. We did it together, Him and I.  He looks up as I enter. “I’ve been waiting for you.” 

There’s love written all over His face. I’m accepted here. I’m valued. I’m loved for who I am. After all, He created me. 

“You’re still carrying that around?” He asks, pointing to the box in my hands.

 “Yes. Isn’t it beautiful? Look at the the designs carved into the wood. I’ve been taking it everywhere with me. I don’t want to lose it.” 

“Looks nice,” He says. “But don’t you get tired of lugging it around with you everywhere you go?” “Well,” I admit, “Kindof. But it’s just so beautiful. I don’t know what would happen if I lost it. I have to keep it with me all the time.” 

He can see right through me though. “Is it really worth it?” 

Okay. Why does it matter to Him anyway? It’s pretty, it’s mine, I’m in control of this thing. What’s the big deal anyway? It’s not that much extra to haul around. I’ve gotten used to it already. But then I remember. I was at work the other day and the box did get in the way. I could have done what He asked me to do much more thoroughly if I could have done it with both hands instead of one holding onto the box. Or how about some of the evenings when we came here to talk about my day? I was so engrossed in admiring this box that it was purty much wasted time. I didn’t pay much attention to him. Several more situations come to my mind. It maybe does hinder me a bit but I don’t know if I want to actually tell Him that. Maybe I would actually like to not have to carry it around BUT I just can’t let it go. It’s too precious. I keep my gaze fixed on the floor. I’m not sure I want to face his piercing eyes. 

“You don’t understand.” I say. “I want this with me. It’s the most precious thing I’ve got.” Gently. Quietly. Lovingly. He tips my head up. “Child, I’ve got something so much better for you. You have to put that one down first though. This gift I have is something that has to be by itself, you can’t be hanging onto another.”  

What? He expects me to give this up so He can give me something He thinks is better than this? THIS?! How could I ever do that? But the longer He looks at me, the longer I stand there, this box gets heavier.  I don’t know how I can give it up though. I don’t care how heavy it is, it’s the most precious thing I’ve been given. I’m not letting it go until I see if this other thing is really so much better than this. You can’t resist that love for long though. He implores me with those eyes. 

“Please give it to me. I’ll make you free. You won’t have to carry that around anymore. It doesn’t define you. My gift will be more precious and beautiful, I promise.” He’s quiet a minute. “However, I’m not going to force you. If you want my gift, you have to put your box on that table.” He points to the end table sitting in the corner. Oh my. What a decision. Tears seep out of my eyes. By now my box is really heavy. Why am I starting to feel like I’m in a cage? How come I never realized all this till now? Giving Him my box seems impossible. But as I think back, He’s never let me down before. His promises have been true.

 “Help me,” I whisper. He puts His strong loving hand on my shoulder, faces me toward the table, and starts walking with me. We stand there. “Take it from me,” I quietly plead. 

“No,” He says, “This needs to be your choice. You need to willingly give up your treasure before I can fully give you mine.” I don’t know how long we stood there. By His grace and love, I was finally able to lay my beautiful box on that table and turn away. As I turned to Him, such a quiet but overwhelming lightness and freedom came over me. He held open his arms and held me close . 

“I never realized how it weighed me down. I’m so sorry that I loved that more than what You could give me.” 

He got a gleam in his eye, “How does it feel?”

I looked at Him. “So free. So light. Like anything is okay if You stay with me.”

He smiled. “That, my dear daughter, is my gift to you in exchange for your box.” 

 That happened awhile ago. His gift of freedom to me was different than what I thought He’d give me, but it’s worth so much more than anything I’ve ever had. My wooden box is still sitting on that table. Sometimes, when I walk through that room, I don’t even glance at it. Other times, it’s tempting to go and look at it again. Feel the smooth wood and beautiful carvings under my fingers. Pick it up and carry it around for awhile. But I remember the feeling of freedom I had when I put it there and turned to my Best Friend and His gift. I have a choice every time I see that box, I can choose to give in and go admire it again, maybe pick it up, or I can look the other way and keep walking. He lots of times meets me in that room, and His love is always right there for me when I make the choice to leave the box there. His gift to me is far greater than anything I have ever thought was beautiful. 

Oh, if you knew how I loved you, you would find it safe to trust your all to One, Who once gave His all for you.